Here's a guide to the top five most insanely named games. Read on!
Raycom Media Camellia Bowl
Dec. 17, 5:30 p.m., ESPN
Appalachian State vs. Toledo
It’s genuinely hard to tell if this is a football game or a high school dance where the girls get to ask the guys. One of the missions of the bowl game is to showcase southern hospitality, so look for players to quit half way through because they overdosed on sweet tea, politeness and thinly veiled racism.
Popeye’s Bahamas Bowl
Dec. 23, 1 p.m., ESPN
Eastern Michigan vs. Old Dominion
There’s something pretty unsettling about naming your bowl game by combining a fast food chain and a stunning tropical vacation destination. Who would want to watch a football game called the “White Castle Crave Case Turks & Caicos Bowl?” And the Popeye’s Bahamas Bowl sounds way too close to that.
Dollar General Bowl
Dec. 23, 8 p.m., ESPN
Ohio vs. Troy
If the name is an indication, expect this game to be convenient, of low quality and sell very old candy. Keeping with the theme, instead of a trophy, the winning team should be rewarded with batteries, broken picture frames and cardboard party hats.
Motel 6 Cactus Bowl
Dec. 27, 10:15 p.m., ESPN
Boise State vs. Baylor
In case you were considering ever sleeping over at a bowl game, the Motel 6 Cactus Bowl thoroughly reminds people to not. Let’s just hope that the game is nothing like a stay at a Motel 6, otherwise expect everyone’s uniforms to be dirty, the water pressure to be low and halftime to be an impromptu meth deal gone terribly awry.
AdvoCare V100 Texas Bowl
Dec. 28, 9 p.m., ESPN
Texas A&M vs. Kansas State
If you’re like me, you assumed AdvoCare V100, stood for some type of epic monster truck challenge that involved a hallowed out school bus, explosions and a clown named “Bad Larry.” And in all honestly it really should be that because the bowl game is taking place in Texas. But it turns the exact opposite is true, as the name and sponsor Advocare V100 actually stands for Tropical Vitamin Chews. DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS…PINEAPPLE VITAMINS!!!
Dec. 31, 11 a.m., ESPN
Georgia Tech vs. Kentucky
If there’s one thing that people want to think about when they’re watching football it’s definitely taxes. Who just scored that incredible touchdown run? Who cares! It’s getting close to April 18 and you just realized that all of your write-offs aren’t legal including watching this game. Now you have to do your own touchdown run from the government.