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Russell Westbrook’s Season Is Even Better Than You Think

Russell Westbrook’s Season Is Even Better Than You Think
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If I was an NBA GM (which we can all agree that I’d be better than Michael Jordan or Phil Jackson at the job), and I could draft anyone to start a team, I would pick Kurt Rambis because this world needs better vision. Just kidding. I would absolutely pick Russell Westbrook and not even think twice about it.

My apologies to LeBron, KD, Steph Curry, James Harden and Isaiah Thomas, (the nicer one), but — let’s face it — Westbrook has better statistics than all of the Brooklyn Nets combined. Put it this way, his 2016-17 season is hotter than Netflix, kale, and full-time DJ’s in Las Vegas.

Let’s start with his ridiculous numbers. The Thunder star is averaging 30.9 PPG, 10.5 RPG and 10.2 APG. That’s right, he’s AVERAGING a triple-double and as of Thursday Feb. 9, he’s accomplished the feat 26 times. The only way anyone else is having that many triple-doubles in one season is if it’s a fast food item at Taco Bell.

Even more impressive than the stats is Westbrook’s absolutely poignant and downright scary killer instinct on the court. When he gets going, there is no one faster, tougher and more determined — and I grew up watching Dennis Rodman throwing elbows in people’s backs for fun.

So how does the all-everything player stack up with other great seasons from NBA legends? If No. 0 is able to keep up his astonishing triple double pace, then he will have been the first player since Hall of Famer Oscar Robertson in’s the ‘1961-62 season to average a triple-double the amazing feat.

But a closer look at the numbers shows that Westbrook’s accomplishment is even more impressive. Robertson’s Celtics averaged a whopping 125 possessions a game in 1964, the era when he secured the triple-double record.

Last year, the Golden State Warriors led the league with only 99 possessions.

And don’t forget this other significant fact: Robertson was playing against mostly tiny white people who all looked like miniature Bobby Hurleys.

Westbrook goes to bat every night against some of the best athletes in the world. Don’t get me wrong, he’s one of the all-time greats, but Robertson’s record is like if Floyd Mayweather only boxed Macaulay Culkin.

So, let’s compare Westbrook’s season with another indisputable giant: Michael Jordan, the former Chicago Bulls guard, star of “Space Jam,” and brief owner of a weird Hitler mustache.

Earlier this year, Russ already thumped Jordan’s previous record of consecutive triple doubles at seven. And going off sheer numbers alone, the only season that Jordan even came closer to Westbrook’s current averages is that same 1989-1990 campaign, when he secured 33.6 PPG, 6.9 RPG, 6.3 APG.

With that being said, Jordan is still Jordan, and his intangibles and will to win are pretty unmatched by anyone in any sport or field except for maybe Meryl Streep or the Jerky Boys.

Either way, Westbrook’s wizardry is undoubtedly one of essential reasons why the NBA is back and better than ever.

NBA Early Season Awards

There’s a reason the NBA is challenging the NFL for ratings supremacy, and that’s because if we’re being honest, the league hasn’t been this fun since “Space Jam.” The NBA is harkening back to the glory days of the Jordan era by showcasing electrifying teams like the Warriors and Spurs, bombastic superstars like Russell Westbrook and Damian Lillard and emerging new rivalries like the Clippers vs. the Warriors, the 76ers vs. your 8th grade intramural team (you’re winning) and Joakim Noah vs. a haircut.

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Here’s a look at my picks for early season award winners in an already incredible NBA year. 

NBA Early Season Awards

BEST POLITICAL RANT THAT SOUNDS LIKE IT’S FROM AN AARON SORKIN SHOW

Yep you guessed it, Metta World Peace! Just kidding. In the days that followed Trump’s victory, several political commenters spoke eloquently about the demise of America, but none as well as Spurs head coach and the dad who doesn’t want you to date his daughter, Gregg Popovich. The Spurs coach is legendary for his biting and sarcastic remarks toward the media, but nothing touches his epic speech following the orange Joker’s presidential nomination. Here’s a few of the scathingly perfect hits,

“It’s still early and I’m still sick to my stomach. Not basically because the Republicans won or anything, but the disgusting tenor and tone and all the comments that have been xenophobic, homophobic, racist, misogynistic, and I live in that country where half the country ignored all that to elect someone. That’s the scariest part of the whole thing to me.”

And my personal favorite:

“The race-baiting with trying to make Barack Obama, our first black president, illegitimate. It leaves me wondering where I’ve been living and with whom I’m living.”

The mic has been dropped. 

WORST USE OF THE WORD POSSE

Sorry Phil Jackson, you’re a great coach but referring to LeBron James’ friends as a “posse” was not the best move, especially since this isn’t the 1800’s and your name is Phil.

SECOND WORST USE OF THE WORD POSSE

NBA Early Season Awards

Insane Clown Posse. 

NOT OF THIS WORLD

Russell Westbrook became the first player since Michael Jordan to record seven straight triple doubles and if that doesn’t impress you, consider that he’s doing it all playing for a team in Oklahoma, a city where most people think a triple double is three hamburgers stacked inside two doughnuts.

NOT OF THIS WORLD HALF

Klay Thompson, Warriors star and one half of boy band, Splash Brothers, had one of the nastiest halves in NBA history by scoring 40 points in 24 minutes against the Indiana Pacers in early December. Thompson went on to score 60 and proved that he can single-handedly beat most of the teams in the Eastern Conference. 

THE MOST UNNATURAL ACTS AWARD

Goes to none other than the reason that the rule was invoked in the first place, the Warriors Draymond Green. The NBA instituted the “unnatural acts” rule after Green was cited for several (to put it nicely) boot to the gents. Since getting the statue on the books, Green has gotten a few technical fouls including “accidentally” kicking a Phoenix Suns player in the butt. You know, basketball stuff.

NBA Early Season Awards
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BF07
Comedian, actor, writer. Has written for the Onion, McSweeney's, Comedy Central, Huffington Post, Rolling Stone. Always knows where Dave Matthews is.
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