Plus, as Double-Decker Bus, the shifter could consume as many as seventy or eighty humans in a single gulp. He knew that if he wanted to escape this primitive rock, he needed to step up his mass-energy conversion process and do it in a hurry. As vacuous as the Keepers were, they surely would realize he was missing from his cell eventually.
If not that, the quasar-wave would surely be missed from the Keeper lunchroom.
And so it was that the shifter happily ate and ate and ate humans in the form of a bright, cherry-red Double-Decker Bus for at least three weeks, all the while he searched for a suitable #power source to help launch himself off the #planet and back to the delights of pleasure planet Orifice 12 for a little well earned rest and relaxation.
Then, one morning, it dawned on him.
Literally, as he was watching the sun rise above the horizon.
The sun, a perfectly good #yellowdwarf just sitting there burning up #hydrogen in #space.
The humans certainly weren’t using it. Why waste it on such miscreants.
His only problem, well, there were two, was gaining enough #mass and enough energy to make #escapevelocity from the planet and stay one step ahead of the law.
To be honest, he wasn’t too worried about the latter problem.
By strange coincidence, he’d recently consumed a tasty Rear Admiral stationed on something called a #nuclear#aircraft carrier named the USS George H. W. Bush.
It was perfect. #Atomicpower source. Lots of humans. Convenient, fast, and hopefully tasty. Nutritious was too much to hope for.
He drove himself that very morning down to the shipyards where he hoped to fly himself (turning into something called a #Navy jet) to the aforementioned carrier, where he planned on happily eating everyone onboard until he’d achieved sufficient mass to blast off the stupid planet and use his quasar-wave on the #star.
Footnote to this moment
Escape velocity: The speed needed to break free from a gravitational field and/or the speed the anaphoric, shapeshifting blob needing to escape from earth’s gravity or 11,100 miles per second in human terms, or 56 garzons per fishton.