8. The shapeshifter became a phone kiosk called a Tardis, hiding in plain sight

Apparently, according to scant evidence gathered by Professor Kknee, a crude mind-control transmission was being broadcast when he’d appeared through the wormhole and he was able to gather enough information from it to shift the proper disguise – a police phone kiosk called a Tardis. It was, apparently, a very popular fixture in human society and he knew from the enthusiasm with which the scientists that he gobbled up upon his arrival, that it was something both revered in human society and, at the very same time, something no one would think twice about if seen on the street. It also had another, peculiarly attractive advantage, which he soon discovered upon departing the Collider facility. Humans loved to step inside it.


The shapeshifter, now calling himself a Tardis, stepped outside the Hadron Collider facility in what would prove to be the perfect disguise. None of the primitive creatures called humans noticed him, or if they did, they simply squealed in utter delight and stepped inside him (thinking him a real Tardis) where they were quickly consumed. Thus, he was able to travel at night unmolested and apparently unseen by anyone in a position of authority. 

 Within days, he made his way to something called a “Chunnel” which was apparently the route he needed to take and was located underneath a channel of water. No one minded seeing the Tardis on the train and he was soon in England, or more specifically, in London, where he was very much surprised to be featured in an episode of “The Graham Norton Show” the very next day. He ate all the producers and all of the guests as soon as they stepped inside him. Because the show functioned as a parody, or comedy, whatever that was, no one noticed the missing humans and assumed it was all part of the show.

Footnotes to this moment

Further research has revealed that a Tardis is a police call box which was actually a time travel device utilized by an extraterrestrial from universe X named Dr. Who. No information is available on Dr. Who or his species, The Timelords. Note, The Timelords were extinct even before universe X became un-universe-like and do not seemingly have counterparts in the real universe. According to Professor Kknee, this information was gathered from many sources, including an earth oracle called Wikipedia. 

Chunnel – a primitive passage inexplicably underneath a body of water which conveniently allowed for easy ambush of everyone on the transport.

The Graham Norton show is a human mind-control broadcast where a demonstrably flamboyant creature, a Norton, presents other presumably well known humans for mimicking purposes. Amazingly enough, the Timelord Dr. Who’s apprentice appeared on the broadcast, ordering particularly dim humans into the shapeshifter’s maw, seemingly unaware that the Tardis was a shifter in disguise. A Norton (Courtesy of the BBC)

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