For most bases or units or commands, there is one club for officer spouses and one club for enlisted spouses. Except for whole unit family days organized by the Family Readiness Officer (in charge of helping ALL families have what they need to survive), the two groups might rarely mix.
Even religious groups can be separate: Officers Christian Fellowship is a Christian fellowship groups for military officers or those who will soon be officers (midshipmen/cadets at military academies, ROTC members, etc.).
I've heard it all, mostly from an officer spouse perspective, both good and bad.
Frankly, personally, I don't care about rank because as spouses (unless both people are in the military), that rank is NOT yours.
So let's just stop and get real for a minute.