FOOD

My hands are totally a $400 juicer: A memoir

GarbageFire 🍆
Author
GarbageFire 🍆

Everyone knows that juicing is next-level nutrition. So when San Francisco-based startup Juicero was funding, it touted a compact machine that would be "the Keurig of juicers." Investors were enthralled, to the tune of $120M.

The way it works is this: Simply plug some fresh fruit/veg pouches into your WiFi-enabled machine and close the door. Then be sipping on your fresh cold-pressed cup of juice a few moments later. No mess (or knives, or citrus juice finding all your papercuts) necessary; just drink it and go.

And then Bloomberg found out you didn't need the machine at all to enjoy your juice, and could instead give yourself a mini-workout while you make your liquid vitamin-packed breakfast

My hands are totally a $400 juicer: A memoir

Here's the video:

...and Twitter went wild.

Of course, you can only get the bags of pre-cut fruit and veg to squeeze if you've already purchased a Juicero machine. So there's that. 

Do you want to pay $400 for a weekly cut fruit bag subscription service? If so, can we send you our Venmo info?