My hands are totally a $400 juicer: A memoir
Everyone knows that juicing is next-level nutrition. So when San Francisco-based startup Juicero was funding, it touted a compact machine that would be "the Keurig of juicers." Investors were enthralled, to the tune of $120M.
The way it works is this: Simply plug some fresh fruit/veg pouches into your WiFi-enabled machine and close the door. Then be sipping on your fresh cold-pressed cup of juice a few moments later. No mess (or knives, or citrus juice finding all your papercuts) necessary; just drink it and go.
And then Bloomberg found out you didn't need the machine at all to enjoy your juice, and could instead give yourself a mini-workout while you make your liquid vitamin-packed breakfast
Here's the video:
...and Twitter went wild.
Every single detail about the Juicero story is hilarious and I really urge you to look into it if you haven't.— Joseph Fink (@PlanetofFinks) April 20, 2017
Looks like Juicero turned out to be— Alex Dalenberg (@alexdalenberg) April 19, 2017
(⌐■_■) Pulp fiction
little known fact after the Juicero debacle; you can also just squeeze Keurig coffee pods with your hands to make perfectly warm espresso— Christian (@christianmccrea) April 20, 2017
I made a good living mailing people Jiffy bags of orange juice till Juicero put me out of business, so I'm glad to see the company fail— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) April 20, 2017
Of course, you can only get the bags of pre-cut fruit and veg to squeeze if you've already purchased a Juicero machine. So there's that.
Do you want to pay $400 for a weekly cut fruit bag subscription service? If so, can we send you our Venmo info?