Death by Ice Cream: A cautionary Tale

See Boris Go
See Boris Go

In a world where ice cream is wealth:

I would own, license or regulate the manufacture, distribution, transportation, sales and consumption of ice cream.

Ice cream would only available through official approved and endorsed points of sale, all markets whether restaurants, dairies, markets, or shops would have to 1) agree to only sell my ice cream 2) would be required to purchase and sell my ice cream at contracted amounts in volume. 3) the price shall be set centrally, irrespective of your market availability to sell my ice cream.

I would limit and outlaw any attempts at independent ice creamery as illegal, having it branded as counterfeit, terrorism, piracy, and of course anti-patriotic.

I would brand the name of ice cream, any seeking to say its name would owe me royalty for the inference.

I would tax independent ownership of cows, goats, sheep and soy alternatives - that private sources of raw production are to expensive; when the tax levies start to fall, I will make mere ownership the crime

In a world where ice cream is wealth, it would be illegal to have a home ice cream maker.

In this world, I would go to war with other nations that have their own ice cream, they must be made to submit to my brand of ice cream, and nations that do not yet have ice cream must open their markets to my ice cream and submit to my rules.

What do you do for your ice cream - for how long do you put up with my rules?

Death by Ice Cream: A cautionary Tale

*previously moved moment - to the new central location of 'Domestic Politics' 

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