'Big Girls Find Love In Many Ways.'

'Big Girls Find Love In Many Ways.'

Everyday Life
Collection Everyday Life

There’s a #girl you probably have known for a while now, but she may not realize how close you two actually are. She makes partial promises about running #imperative errands with you, visiting you at your better job, meeting your better parents, spending the night at your better apartment, with its “#French flea-market” aesthetic, “found objects,” #espresso scented candles, sheet #music wall #art all things that most people would appreciate. However, she rarely cares about any of that above average nonsense and is usually far too confused and tired to be impressed anyway. What she knows for certain: she’s inevitably getting older, she’s spent most of the little bit of #money she’s had saved, she’s wasted “#precious” time, she’s been hurt enough to the point where she’s reached a discerning plateau, she fears she’s losing her #frantic and #fragile mind, and although she understands the whole theory that by withstanding so much nonstop inner-commotion, she should be waking up tougher each morning, the reality is that her #daylight confidence always fades into the weakness of her nighttime blues. She’s difficult with #acquaintances. Your friends try to make small talk with her at bars sometimes, but her idea of small #talk ends up being about whatever’s in her pocket, the dozens of #postcards she’s collected, or #reality#television. Or about how she could never date someone who doesn’t love fresh juice (that’s #crucial). She doesn’t like to dress up, ever, really. Unless some higher life form appears in a dream, begging her to wear appropriate attire to an upcoming event, then sweats, a t-shirt, and a beanie will do the trick. She rambles, in case you’re unclear about that. She has to find an apartment soon and is really #focused on this one place, based almost solely on the fact that they have a salt water pool, which seems utterly #fancy. Also, it’s one of those “why not?” situations. She buys three dollar scratchers in hopes to be #rich, rich, rich, and has calculated whether or not to take the lump sum of her (slightly possible) earnings based on #mathematical probabilities, etc. etc. She #writes just to say something, to remind herself she has coherent thoughts #irrelevant ones, even. You might even be listening to her speak, intently reading her #poetry, you might understand who she is or what she’s saying, but she doesn’t know that for sure. She bridges the fine line between longing and #apathy, spending hour after hour rewriting details in prose.

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