May is a month of mental awareness and this year it’s special for me as I consider myself to be in recovery from my struggles of mental Illness. I am Molly and for many years I suffered from an overwhelming anxiety and eating disorder. I started dancing at three and since time passed my relationship with dance became serious. I was struggling with my bad body image. I was convinced that if I lose weight and will be a much better dancer. I would get more attention and I would love myself more.
However, there was nothing healthy about what I was doing. I was having a war with my body and mind. I thought that constantly feeling guilty, ashamed and overwhelmed was just something I had to accept. I started hating myself.
After many years of struggling silently, I decided that enough was enough and I started Dialectical Behavior Therapy. When I started, I didn’t want anyone to know that I was in the therapy. However, as I started to embrace the journey of this therapy, I learned that I wasn’t alone. I’ve learned that perfection is impossible. I learned that choosing to embrace vulnerability was the only way to fully start the healing process.
Today, I’m still in therapy and I’m in a much healthier place than I was 6 months back. I’m learning to validate my emotions and my struggles. I’m learning to heal my relationship with body and food.