i. You will make me feel nervous, #passionate, enthralled. Though I usually have a distant demeanor, I will find myself focused when I’m around you, trying to memorize everything we say to each other, as every moment with you could feel like cool air, a clove cigarette, velvet, dancing, simple jokes, red #wine, and I will try so desperately hard to slow down each second with you because I want to have them to think so vividly about as I trudge through the crowded, suffocating days. ii. I hope one of us will #kiss the other quite soon after we exchange those awkward smiles, hang out, spend time doing anything, really. Maybe we’ll both close our eyes at the same time and then muster up the courage to lean in. I don’t even mind if it’s barely romantic, such as getting stuck at one of those seemingly endless stop lights, listening to #music so loud that we couldn’t hear each other even if we tried, us then succumbing to that hopeful attraction. Maybe you’d feel this all too, maybe we’ll both be overcome with a such a sure feeling of being right where we’re supposed to be that nothing else matters. iii. I want to be #drunk with you at 2 a.m., after a long night, lying in bed, just touching. Strip away my #hesitation and I’ll keep us half-composed. I won’t care if your hands are cold at night I’m positive your fingertips will make me forget about the broken parts of me, the uselessness that’s plagued me, the guilt that’s haunted me, and the deep confusion that manifests itself as fog, clouding my ideas about the future. My head will be spinning, and you will find #secrets in my silence, and maybe for a moment, you will find shelter in mine. iv. I wake up early each #morning. I’ll end up eventually waking you, jumping back into bed, wrapping my arms around you, and kissing you with my #coffee breath, hoping you don’t mind. v. I may never find the right words to say, even though I can sometimes #write some recklessly, when I’m so overwhelmed with pleading #sentiments, #frightening#contradictions, the kind of #feelings that beg, weary distress, restless lust, a #selfish kind of #love or even a selfish kind of pain, really. I don’t remember the last time I wrote an honest love letter void of fear, #apology, or obligation. For you though, I will be truthful, even if it means that it may not make sense, or seem like pure rambling I will write. I will write you in cursive, in pen, so that each #letter is strung together with #remarkable velocity, with ink forming words that cannot be #erased!
'Thoughts when in love'!
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